Wow, has it really been six months since my last post? I knew that I written yet another, "I am going to get back into shape" post but then did not in fact get back in shape, but was it really six months ago? Wow.
But it isn't how many times you fall down, it is how many times you get back up.
And this time I am serious.
The last two years have been a crazy two years personally and professionally. Personally, I could never imagine the many joys and struggles, but I suppose that is life. But I finally feel like I am in place where everything is settled. Or, at least as settled as it can be with a 4 year old and 11 year old in the house. But we have our house in our same little town (the house process was a very complicated drama in and of itself). And the new house is fantastic. And work is going well. I actually wrote the previous "I am back" post the week before we moved into the new house, and two weeks before summer vacation. Looking back on it, no wonder I didn't stick to it.
The only problem is that with all of those things, I consciously let my running and health slide to the back burner. I knew I was out of shape, overweight and not running. But, looking back, I really didn't have the mental energy and commitment to deal with that problem when so many other things in life were going on. Work stress, house stress, kids, holidays, etc. And, frankly, I didn't want to start running again, knowing how far I had fallen from before.
So, with GREAT trepidation, I strapped on my shoes on New Years Day and went for a run on a familiar track in Florida. Two and a half years ago, in the same area, I ran 18 miles in 2:30. This year, I hoped to be able to run 4 miles without passing out. But I bucked myself up with all of my mantras -- never say I used to, say I can; the longest journey begins with one step; the hardest part of any journey is leaving the front porch; and, it doesn't matter how many times you fall, but how many times you got up. And went out and ran...slowly. For the first time in 6 months. No heart rate monitor (it would have mortified me to see how hard it was pumping), no stopwatch, nothing to give me an idea of pace or whatever.
The run was actually much easier than I thought. And more fun. I had nothing to lose and everything to gain, and ran that way, and it just sort of flowed. The run was like seeing an old friend again, someone I had not seen in a long time, and going out and having a drink and laughing about the old times. I am not going to kid around and say it was easy or not a struggle, but, at the end of the day, I did it; 5 miles in about 47 minutes (Even though I did not have Garmy, I know the distance because I have run there so many times.)
So, I would like to think, I can do it this time. This time, it is for real. I have goals, a purpose statement, and an end game in mind. Before I get all sappy with that,i will make sure I stay on the path.
But really, this time is different. My wife rolls her eyes when I tell her I going to lose the weight, run the marathon, etc. I understand why; really I do. She isn't being negative or unsupportive, just realistic. But not this time.
This time it sticks.